At the start of this year, I made a commitment to have the courage to put myself out there as honestly and authentically as possible, in an effort to help other moms like myself make seismic and fundamental shifts in their personal and professional lives. As the first step, I've begun reflecting on the past four years - the good, the bad, the ups and downs. I'm reminded of lost opportunities, regrets, amazing wins, great boosts of confidence and total losses of confidence. I want to take you through my journey, and briefly touch upon each phase I went through - throughout this blog and other assets, I'll delve more deeply into each of these facets of my experiences, and we will discuss ways you can navigate through these phases as well!
Making the Leap
I've made several major leaps the last few years - I moved to a new city sight unseen for my dream job, I left said job to stay home with my kids, I started a freelancing business, then rolled in-house with a tech company to have a more steady income. Each leap came with one thing - FAITH. If that faith that something wonderful was on the other side of that leap hadn't been there, I wouldn't have taken it. I'll share where that faith comes from later.
Of course, behind every leap was also FEAR, that ugly monster that loves whispering the worst possible scenarios in your ear; the one who loves to scream at the top of her lungs in the middle of the night. She was definitely there, but she was more present when the going got tough. She decided to permanently park herself outside my left ear the first time a client fired me, and stayed put until just a few months ago. More on her later too, and how to get her to STFU.
Fear, my horrible shoulder resident, had an immeasurable impact on me - she made me lose all my confidence. She successfully filled my brain with nonsense (almost all of which was not grounded in reality) in an effort to solidify her place of residence. And I let her stay - I listened to that bitch ramble until every shred of confidence, every ounce of FAITH I had had, that had helped me make all those leaps in the past, was gone. The next step is definitely a hard one to write about.
Boy, confidence is a funny thing - when you have a lot of it, nothing can stop you. But when it dwindles, even a little bit, it is hard to see clearly. I completely lost sight of myself, my abilities, my strengths - and ended up settling. I accepted a position to something I didn't really want to do, all because I thought that was all I was capable of doing. I FORGOT who I was - and that's what's crazy about fear, she has the ability to cause amnesia. For months, I existed in this hazy state, completely forgetting who I am, and settled into this life that wasn't meant for me.
Getting Back Up
BUT...I blinked. I shook my head. I looked around, confused. What's going on? How did I get here? Almost like getting up after being asleep for several days - I was dazed and confused. I pondered, I reflected and I began gaining clarity. I blamed myself, but quickly got on the path of gratitude - every experience in life has a lesson. This one was: If you fall, get back up. Don't forget who you are and what you're made of.
Dusting Myself Off
I began by surrounding myself with the RIGHT people. Fear and lack of confidence have a funny way of making you isolate yourself. "I'm no good, no one needs to hear what I have to say" is what fear would trick me into believing. "Shut the fuck up FEAR! No one needs to hear what YOU have to say!" I began telling myself that, but also hearing that from the people around me - family, friends, business networks. I slowly began opening up, revealing my weaknesses and understanding that I was just at the beginning of another journey, ready to take another leap.
Now, I'm ready to take off again, with all of you! Fear, settling and losing sight of oneself and our abilities is a part of life. But I'm here to tell you YOU DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT ON YOUR OWN. Whether you're stuck in a rut, looking to make a leap to another job, going for a big promotion, or on the verge of starting something on your own, go into it knowing so many others have been there.
My goal is to create a growing, thriving community of mom entrepreneurs, builders, dreamers and doers, all looking to take off and grow in ways they never imagined. I hope to help others move away from their fears, feel empowered and confident to make that leap to the next big thing! Join the ROKI Community and reclaim your strength and confidence, and achieve your goals in ways you never expected!