Four years ago, I leapt sight unseen into SAHMotherhood, and while leaving my career to spend my time with my sweet little 2 year old was the best choice I could have made for my family, it was also the hardest. I WISH I had other moms to talk to who had navigated that rough terrain, and had had a safe place to ask the questions I so desperately needed to. I also made a HUGE change in my life - I left my career, moved to a completely new city where I had no friends, and I ended up isolating myself. Worst decision of my life. At these major crossroads in our lives, it's so important to have a supportive network to help you feel sane, happy, normal. I felt none of those things, instead I felt like I was drowning - I was depressed and anxious - and I wasn't prepared for any of that. I felt like I had no remaining identity, besides being Ronin's mom, and social media did not help one bit with that feeling - it seemed as though all other SAHM's had it down - taking their kids to gym class, making crafts with them, while I was struggling just to figure out what the heck I was going to feed him every day, and keep myself from breaking down and screaming on a daily basis.
When I finally gave in and started seeing a therapist, it helped tremendously in understanding my journey, but what really helped was when I started talking with other moms, and realizing I was NOT alone. But the biggest realization was I was using social media as my window to the outside world - it was my only connection with my family and friends in different cities, but it pulled me down the wormhole of the "perfect" persona everyone paints for themselves online. I began comparing myself with other moms and realized that many moms compare ourselves and judge ourselves so harshly if we aren't living up to this "perfect" standard - but what the hell is that anyway? Does it even exist?
In talking with all those women who seemed to be in the same place I was, I realized we all had one thing in common - we were stuck in limbo. We were crippled by the fear of making a change that would damage our careers, our reputations or our financial stability. But when I took a step back, and thought of all the other times in my life when I had made a HUGE change, like when I quit my job at IBM and moved sight unseen to St Louis to take my dream job, I kept thinking over and over again, HOW DID I DO IT?! I realized that a lot of the decisions I made in the past when I took a HUGE leap of faith was done before I had kids, and that once I had children, the decision was not solely up to me. The weight of that last statement weighs so heavily on most mothers backs, which is why I was motivated to do something about it.
I want to help other moms get through those transitions and have a safe place to ask the questions they need to without feeling like they are all alone, like I did. I want moms to feel empowered like they did before they had kids, when they could make leaps and reap the benefits of doing what they love. I want moms to feel supported NO MATTER what their decision is. We are constantly bombarded by negativity and judgement, like this article that just came out last week.
So that's my goal - create an inclusive space for moms to feel safe to make the choices she needs to make for her and her family to feel WHOLE again - no matter what that choice may be. I support ALL mothers - SAHM's, entrepreneur moms, working moms, contractor/freelancer moms, and everyone in between. Because at the end of the day, we are all moms, and that's all that matters.