I'm going to get really REAL for a minute here - I suffer from depression and anxiety and have most my life. In the South Asian community especially, it's extremely hard to talk about mental illness openly, because it is seen as a weakness. Recently, (thankfully!) I was diagnosed with PMDD, which explains part of the depression and anxiety I have on a monthly basis, but there are days that I just can't seem to get myself up and ready - like today.
I snapped at both the boys this morning for no reason, but my husband quickly swooped in because he understands when mommy is not feeling like herself. I feel incredibly lucky to have such a supportive husband who not only understands my mood swings, but picks up the slack when I'm down, and doesn't hold it against me later. But I know a lot of women are not as lucky - so many moms are suffering in silence and think they are crazy, but in fact they are experiencing very common feelings. But I want to tell you one thing - you're AMAZING.
You still get up every morning and get the family ready, even though you feel as though you're going to burst into tears any moment. You still manage to tie your hair up, walk & feed the dog, and make the kids lunches, even though every step literally hurts to take. You still manage to get yourself ready and out the door to go to work, and are able to get through an excruciating day, faking happiness so as to not let on how empty you feel inside. SO many of us have been there, and continue to be there, but you don't have to suffer alone.
I hope you open up, to a therapist, a friend, a colleague or a community like ROKI, and share your all too common feelings with them. I hope you recognize how amazing a person, mama, wife, woman you are, and what an incredible impact you have made on the world around you. I hope you can feel your children's love and adoration for you, each and every day.
If you are suffering in silence, PLEASE reach out to your doctor or therapist if you have not yet. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8225. There are trained professionals available 24/7 to help you through anything. Moms have the toughest jobs in the world - we are pushed beyond our limits, then asked to go even farther. Remember to take care of yourself before you can take care of your family. You got this mama, you're amazing.