Turn FOMO into HAN

Photo credit Erin Gaus - www.eringaus.com

Photo credit Erin Gaus - www.eringaus.com

Ok, I know what you're thinking....what the hell do FOMO and HAN mean?!  Well, I'm here to explain them both:

FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out

HAN: Here And Now

Almost every professional mother, no matter what stage she's at in her professional career, is experiencing FOMO in some form or the other:

  • She's missing out on watching her children grow up
  • She's missing out on growing her career because she chose to leave
  • She's missing out on fun business trips because she chose a career path with less travel
  • She's missing out on happy hours with her friends and coworkers because she is picking her child up from daycare

...And the list goes on.  I could type out a thousand more ways that I've experienced FOMO since the day I went back to work after having my first baby, and how much more FOMO I experienced after I left my career to be a SAHM.  And of course now that I'm working on building ROKI, I have FOMO about trips to the zoo, the library - you name it, I've FOMOed about it.

But I had to STOP - BREATHE - RELAX.  Because there's really no such thing as FOMO.  FOMO is just some shit your mind makes up to "trick" you into thinking something amazing is happening without you around.  Like in your mind, your child is saying "na na na boo boo!" from the daycare as he's riding a magical camel that spits out jelly beans.  Ain't happening.  What's probably happening is your baby is getting his diaper changed for the 5th time today, and while you may be miserable sitting at your desk, pining away for the day when you can spend more time with your child, what you really need to do is exercise HAN.

Focusing on the here and now takes lots of time and practice, and boy do I know, I'm still trying to get it down.  But it's rooted in the principle of Mindfulness, which basically means trying to bring your mind back to the present.  There's an awesome children's book about Mindfulness that I've been reading with my 5 year old for the past few years, I would highly recommend it!  But what I'm trying to get at is - no matter what your situation may be, the grass is always greener on the other side right?  And rather than pining away for that magical, almost guaranteed non-existent faux-reality, focus on what you have in front of you.  Of course, don't ever stop working TOWARDS where you want to be, but don't waste your day wishing you were somewhere else instead of where you are right now.