I woke up this morning feeling like I do most mornings - tired, yet excited for the day ahead, hungry, but above all, just the slightest bit anxious. My mind continually races through all the different possibilities that could lie ahead of me - what if I mess up on something? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I forget to do something? What if...what if....what if....
I know these recurring thoughts are fundamentally anxiety or anxious thoughts, and that there are a plethora of drugs, techniques, blogs, courses, etc that help alleviate anxiety. But what got me thinking this morning, as I was taking my vitamin D pill, is how come there isn't a way to ADD confidence to our lives, rather than just alleviate anxiety? What I mean by that is - wouldn't it be great if there were a magic pill to infuse you with confidence on a daily basis?
So here's my wish list for this magic confidence-boosting pill (I'll call it Confizen, sounds like the kind of name a pharmaceutical marketing manager would give a drug like this right?!):
- It would help me smile instead of scowl: I would LOVE a pill that would keep me from scowling every time a negative thought came into my mind - I think it would be wonderful if the corners of my lips only went in one direction - UP.
- It would help me say EXACTLY what is on my mind, without allowing my internal censor to block it: Man, how many times have I regretted not speaking up when the time was right because my internal censor told me to shut up?! I am in awe and quite honestly jealous of those who are able to express exactly how they are feeling in that moment, instead of politely agreeing with whatever is being said, only to completely disagree inside and not say a word! If only...
- It would help me not take EVERYTHING personally: You didn't whole heartedly agree with everything I just said? We must be mortal enemies now....my mind has created that dialog all too often which then takes me down the Being Offended by Everything Spiral - and it sucks. If only there was a way to just hear what people are saying without misconstruing what they mean into being offensive.
- It would help me stay calm in ALL scenarios, not just those I'm prepared for or expecting: Life is unpredictable - we all know it, and yet still sometimes when something happens which is completely unexpected and out of the blue, I COMPLETELY lose my cool (And sometimes in really embarrassing ways). If only there were a way to keep sane at all times, not just when I know what's going to happen.
Well, until this "magic" pill is manufactured, here's what I can do:
- Smile more often: No matter what life throws at me, I can still smile, it's entirely up to me - I just have to remember to do it. So maybe I'll put a Post-It note up to remind me.
- Remember that I'm just a human: It's ok to react negatively to situations, to scowl, to curse or to cry. Those are natural reactions to situations which ALL humans experience - it's not isolated to just me.
- Just BE: Absolutely I believe we all should strive for continuous improvement, but not at the expense of our well being. I've often found that I'm incredibly hard on myself, and the best remedy to that is to just stop thinking and just be. So much easier said than done, but I've been practicing it more and it gets easier and easier every day.
So the next time you wonder when that magic confidence pill, Confizen, is going to go on the market, just remember that you can still have the benefits, without the side effects.